My Terrors
by WHPIAR
Summary: Dr. Cox seems to be struggling through some tough times. JD hopes Perry's delema isn't what he thinks it is. Could it possibly be something worse? Perry will have to seek help before he gets any better.
1. Expresso Calamity

Hello Scrubs fans! I am very excited because I have been absent from fanfiction for a long time now, as some of you may or may not know. I have recently become obsessed with Scrubs to a point of life interferance. So, this is a story about Dr. Cox and JD. No, it isn't slashy at all (or at least, it's not suposed to be). I feel like I'm really following the crowd by writing an story about an angsty Cox and JD, but I promise, this isn't like other fanfics. It may appear to some people that it is at the moment, but it's not. Well, please enjoy!

By the way, although JD is narrating this chapter, the things in italics are either flashbacks, dream sequences, or things he's thinking to himself.

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Chapter 1

I had just been sent on an errand by an unusually dazed and contemplative Dr. Cox.

_A piercing whistle sounded through the halls of Sacred Heart. Dr. Cox glides rapidly up to JD, leaning on the nurse's counter. "Newbie, I need you to get me a tall Espresso. Pronto." _

"_Dr. Cox, I was just filing these papers and then I was going to see if there's any leftover cake from yesterdays lunch. I though it was really quite good and I haven't had any sweets today, except for a glazed doughnut I split with Carla. Turk longingly gazed at the doughnut but I refused to give him any. Then Carla promised she'd make him his favourite food for dinner." JD was going to go on, but then realized that Dr. Cox seemed completely zoned out. He had his arms crossed over his chest and looking down with very distant eyes. He appeared to be working something out in his head, or perhaps remembering something. JD waved his hands to get his attention. When that didn't do anything he snapped his fingers in front of his face. _

_Dr. Cox jolted looked out to kill, "Shelby, do I look like I care about your insignificant life? Go do what I asked! Now!" _

I had reached the café thinking happily to myself, '_And I thought Dr. Cox didn't daydream._' I went straight to the front of the line. "Cabbage!" I greeted.

"Hey, Dr. Dorian! The usual? " greeted the tall boy working.

"No thanks, Cabbage. I'm on a mission for Dr. Cox. One tall Espresso, pronto." I quoted.

I handed the good boy my money and went to deliver, hoping for praise. '_Espresso is a funny word. I thought it was pronounced Expresso for the longest time._ _I wonder if all words I thought were 'ex' were actually 'es'.' _

I reached the nurses station, and not seeing Dr. Cox anywhere nearby I asked Carla in her pink scrubs where he had gone off to.

"When you left, I think he went to the doctor's lounge." she replied, answering a phone call.

"Thanks, Carla." I headed towards the lounge with the four dollar cup of Espresso in my hand. '_I wonder if Dr. Cox will pay me back for buying him coffee. If he tries I'll refuse. I like doing nice things for him. Although, if he wants free coffee again I'll have to refuse. Coffee's espensive._'

Upon reaching the almost empty doctor's lounge I found Dr. Cox lying on the couch staring at the television with the same distant look as before. I wanted to get his attention, but I of all people understand how obnoxious it is to have your daydreams interrupted. I decided to quietly sit on the empty loveseat beside the couch.

I stared my mentor lying before me. His eyebrows were scrunched up in question. He had obvious bags under his eyes. I didn't notice it at first but when I saw blood dripping from his wrist I was shocked. "Oh my God, Dr. Cox!" I spontaneously yelled out. That second seemed to last forever. Was Dr. Cox suicidal?

When I yelled he had snapped out of his daze and flew off the couch with surprise. I shot to my feet, too. I had been startled by the blood along my mentor's wrist and his reaction to my exclamations. When I did half of the Espresso spilled on the front of my scrubs.

"For the love of God, Johanna! What the Hell were you thinking?" Dr. Cox yelled at me.

We stood in shocked silence, '_What __was__ I thinking?_' I responded, worried and slightly afraid of the response, "What happened?"

"It looks to me like you screwed up again by not keeping a hold of a cup, that's what happened. I expect a full cup in the next five minutes." he said to me, degradingly.

I refused to be silenced, "No, Dr. Cox. What happened to your arm?" I asked in concern.

Dr. Cox looked down at his bloody wrist. "Jordan has decided that it'll be great fun to give a cat to our three year old son. The little beast scrached me last night. Apparently the wound has reopened." he replied in blunt dislike, taking the half-full cup from my hands, and making his way to the nearest medical closet to get a bandage for his arm.

I followed him to the closet, relieved about that answer. "I once found a stray cat. I fed it milk every day when I got home from the third grade until he got hit by a car a week later. I named him Michael. Rest in peace."

He had finished applying the bandage. "Newbie, if you actually think I care about some meaningless pet of yours, I suggest you get a reality check, because I can't think of ah-heh-nything I care less about at this precious moment in time."

Dr. Cox stormed away to check up on his patients in ICU. I followed him because I figured I should check up on the patients there, too. As Dr. Cox was checking over the chart of a man I double-checked the man's vitals.

I couldn't bear it any longer! The curiosity was killing! I had to ask! "What's the kitty's name?"

Dr. Cox rolled his eyes my way, flipped the chart closed, and walked out of ICU. I'm partially that glad he did, because now I have a mission for the day.

_Dr. Cox is sitting in the café as JD enters with Turk and Ted, all dressed in fine suits and carrying fancy guns. _

"_We mean no harm." JD says to the scared café-goers, "Everyone, put your hands in the air and don't move. We don't mean to hurt anyone." _

_In the background, Turk and Ted make threatening motions to all of the civilians. JD walks up to a terrified Dr. Cox. "We can end this all now." JD says to him, "Just tell us the name of the kitty." _

_Before Dr. Cox can respond Ted cracks and starts shooting towards the ceiling, yelling towards Dr. Kelso, "This is for all those years of torment and not believing in me! Ahahaha!!" _

"He should have been nicer to Ted." I said, and walked off to tell Turk about my mission.

After looking around for him, a timid intern confirmed that Turk was in surgery. I thanked the intern and, while going to check up on a patient I crossed paths with Jordan. I decided to stop her.

"What is it DJ?" she asked me when I greeted her.

"I was curious about the name of the kitten you got for Jack recently?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't eat me.

She gave me an angry/confused look, "Perry got him a cat?"

"No!" I said, defending myself and saying smartly, "You did."

She closed her eyes and shook her head, "If Perry thinks I'm going to get some mangy cat for Jack, he has another thing coming." Upon saying that she walked away, leaving me very confused and worried.

_To Be Continued_

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Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I don't really plan on this having like, 20 chapters, but it will definatly have more. **Please** review for this. I love encouragement.

_This is WHPIAR...signing off. _


	2. Oncall Abnormalities

**Chapter 2 **

_Dr. Cox's POV_

I yawned as I walked down the hall to the nurse's counter. I needed something strong to drink. Wishing that alcohol was allowed in the hospital, I spied Sheryl. He leaped at my piercing whistle, "Newbie, I need you to get me a tall Espresso. Pronto."

Jordan and I aren't living together anymore. Our son lives with me on weekends and Tuesday evenings. I'm disgusted with myself, making him go back and forth like a bouncy ball, but Jordan wanted full custody and I can't handle that, so we settled on this crazy schedule. I may not be the best father, but I love that boy. I'm a tolerable father, really. Well, at least I'm better than my father was.

_Perry, age16, was sitting in his bedroom watching television. It was past seven o'clock in the evening and his mother was out. Perry hadn't had any dinner yet, but he wasn't very hungry. He'd probably go buy some fast food and bring some home to his sister. _

_He was just thinking about getting up to ask Paige what she felt like for dinner, when he herd the screen door slam. That sound plants terror in Perry's heart. _

'_I have time to lock my door!' Perry thought to himself, 'But then he'll just go for my sister.' He left his bedroom door unlocked and sat, awaiting the evil vehemence to rain down upon him. _

_The stomping feet stopped at his door. Perry's father forcefully penetrated the room, the stench of alcohol trailing behind him. Perry got off of his bed and backed towards the wall, the television still playing._

"_Where's my dinner, you little piece of shit?" he yelled at Perry, an almost empty bottle of liquor in his hands. When Perry didn't answer quick enough his father shoved him into a table corner. Perry let out a gasp of pain and sunk to the floor. _

"_Answer me faster, fucker! Where's my dinner?" he yelled, beating him in the face. _

_A soft, scared voice spoke from the door, "Dad? We were just starting dinner." _

_Their father made a move as if to chaise her, yelling, "Wha'ja say, Cunt?" She screamed and ran to her room, locking it. _

_Perry stood up as his father swaggered to the door saying, "If my dinner isn't ready in the next five minutes, you'll be sorry." With that said he drained the last of the liquor and threw the glass bottle at Perry, hitting him squarely in the head, the glass breaking around him. His father chuckled and left the room, going to sit in the living room, the TV blaring. _

_Perry tried to hold out until his father left the room. As soon as he did he collapsed on the floor and attempted to remain conscious. He saw his sister run out of her room and into the kitchen as fast as she could to get his dinner started. _

_In about five minutes she entered Perry's bedroom with a swelling red hand print on her right cheek. Perry was unconscious and she tried to revive him. She was able to get him into the car and drive him to the nearest hospital. The doctors had asked what happened and Perry was able to explain that he fell down a nasty flight of stairs. _

Someone snapped me out of my trance. I jumped, startled not only by the snapping noise in my ear, but also such memories put me on the edge. I covered it up by saying, "Shelby, do I look like I care about your insignificant life? Go do what I asked! Now!" I didn't catch a word of what Newbie was saying, but I figured that would cover a wide range of subjects.

He skipped urgently along towards the café. I wanted to avoid any inquiry Carla was sure to ask as soon as Newbie was out of sight, so I speedily headed towards the doctor's lounge.

'_I never daydream, although that wasn't much of a daydream. More like a nightmare. Or would it be "daymare"?' _

No one else was in the lounge, which wasn't very abnormal for this time of the day. I lay down on the couch, anticipating a lack of disturbance.

I knew why I had that daydream about my father. Yesterday I got a call from Paige. My mother died yesterday morning and my dad wanted us to show at the funeral that Saturday. I never liked my mom. She'd stand idle as our father thrashed the shit out of us.

My mother's funeral was not really something I wanted to go to, but Paige said she was going. I know she'd try to smother Dad with her religious bull crap and I didn't want her to get hurt. Our father is a large, burly man. He could break her in two if he wanted. Also, if I went it would be a good opportunity to rub my life in his face. I haven't spoken to him since I left for college. After 18 years of being called "worthless" and being told that I'll never amount to anything, I'd just like to see the look on his face when I tell him that I have a kid and am one of the best doctors in the city.

"Oh my God, Dr. Cox!"

Out of total surprise, I lunged off of the couch. In the process I saw Newbie spill a cup of coffee down the front of his scrubs.

"For the love of God, Johanna! What the Hell were you thinking?" I yelled at him.

He stood there, looking dumb, "What happened?"

'_What the Hell is this kid talking about?_' "It looks to me like you screwed up again by not keeping a hold of a cup, that's what happened. I expect a full cup in the next five minutes." I shuttered because that last line sounded too much like the threats of my father.

In genuine concern he asked, "No, Dr. Cox. What happened to your arm?"

I subtly looked to my arms. My wrist had blood seeping down it. I quickly thought up a believable story, anything but what I knew was the truth. "If you absolutely have to know, Jordan has decided that it'll be great fun to give a cat to our three year old son. Apparently the wound has reopened." I lied convincingly, trying not to think about the blood on my arm. '_Thank God, no one has told him that Jordan and I don't live together anymore. I can sill use her as an excuse._'

I found the nearest medical supply closet while Newbie told me some story about a cat. I had trouble putting the bandage on myself, so JD helped me. I don't even think he realized. He's a pretty good doctor, no matter how much I tell him he's not. When he was done I stormed away to ICU, partially hoping he wouldn't follow me.

He followed me, checking my patient's vitals. For a minute there he looked like he was ready to wet himself. Finally he asked, "What's the kitty's name?"

I rolled my eyes and trudged away, not wanting to get into this lie too deep. Thankfully, he didn't follow this time.

I hate cats. Even if Jordan and I were together, I'd never let her get Jack a cat. I couldn't possibly tell Newbie the truth about the scratch though. I couldn't tell anyone about the truth. It's too embarrassing.

Last night I didn't sleep very well. If fact, I hardly slept at all. My lunch break is coming up and right now I'm more tired than I am hungry. I headed to the on-call room. No one was there, so I snagged an extra pillow from the linen closet and curled up on one of the beds in the corner of the room against the wall. Within minutes I drifted into what I hoped would be a peaceful sleep.

I was so wrong.

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_JD's POV_

Lunch was great today! I finally got around to talking to the cafeteria staff about that cake from yesterday and they said they'd make sure I had a piece today. It was just as good as it was yesterday!

I was heading to the nurses counter when something happened to made me stop. I was approaching the on-call room when I heard heavy, staggered breathing. My first thought was that a couple was getting freaky in there. '_Just keep walking, JD. Give them their privacy._' Then I heard a hollow _thunk_ and my imagination was running wild! '_They must be crazy! What are they doing in there?_' I expected sensual moaning or something to follow but instead I heard a man's voice whimper and sob, "Stop… don't hurt her… I hate you…"

My eyes grew large. '_Someone in there needs my help!_' _JD rips the front of this scrubs off, reveling a Superman costume with "JD" in the center, instead of an "S". He races towards the on-call door, dramatically breaking it down. He steps over the rubble and dust, fists akimbo, saying "Is everything okay in here?" _

I just stepped into the room, a bit worried I'd find someone being violated against their will. "Is everything okay in here?" I asked. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw.

Dr. Cox was lying in one of the beds farthest away, struggling against his sheets, covered in sweat. He was thrashing back and forth whimpering, "No… I didn't mean it… please… no." I rushed forward. When I got to his side, I tentatively called him name. He continued thrashing. His left arm flung out and punched the wall. The _crack_ against the wall seemed to make me realize what to do. I seized a hold of his wrists and held them down. He tried desperately in his sleep to break free. I called out his name a bit louder. He started crying like a young boy. JD's heart was breaking for his mentor. "Please," Dr. Cox sobbed, gasping for breath, "Leave me alone."

"Dr. Cox." I called, "Dr. Cox… Perry!"

That did it. Dr. Cox suddenly stopped his thrashing. The sheets were soaked with his sweat. He was so warm. When his eyes opened, they took a moment to register where he was, then his eyes focused on me. I must have looked terrified. His breathing was shaking. He whispered something.

"What?" I asked, uncomfortably.

"Get out!" he yelled, alarm and bewilderment in his eyes. Out of distress by his sudden outburst and from being quite shook up from what I'd just experienced, I leapt off the bed and darted out of the room, closing the door behind me.

I tried to look calm and collected to my fellow colleagues, but in reality I was trembling all the way to a supply closet I haven't hid in since I was an intern. I entered it as quickly and as casually as I possibly could. Once I had hastily closed the door however, I broke down. I told myself not to cry, but as I let my self sink down to the floor with my back against the door to keep anyone from coming in, the tears started to surge. I lost control of myself and started gasping for breath through the sobs.

I had never been so scared in all my life. What had happened back there?

…_To be continued…_

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Thanks to everyone who reviewed the first chapter! One review noted that the italics were occasionally hard to follow. I hope this chapter is easier. I am personally really proud of the way this is going. I think it's going well. I just hope that everyone else thinks so too. Please you guys, review! It's such a simple, quick task and it makes me happier beyond measure! Unless it's really critical! I don't really like critical.

Sorry that there aren't much of the other characters in this story. I'm not sure how much they'll show up. I never know where a story is going until I'm at the end, although I have a pretty sturdy plan for this one.

..._This is WHPIAR... signing off... _


	3. Dream Distruction

Woohoo! I made it to the third chapter! Well, I hope this is nice and angsty/dramatic for all you fans out there. I know I like it. I pray that everyone is following this well. I can't remember if I mentioned this in the preveous chapter, but I know that Dr. Cox's mom was already dead in the series. I didn't know that when I started writing this but I know now. So... let's just pretend that that one line he has in that one episode where he mentioned that his mom died and that he didn't attend the funeral just didn't happen so that this story can continue without being badgered and scorned. Thank you. Enjoy!

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**Chapter 3**

_Dr. Cox POV_

_The sun is bright and warm, the grass is the most solid shade of green and the sky has never been bluer. I am looking into an open coffin, staring at my mother's lifeless figure. Paige is standing next to me trying to tell me that she has been accepted into heaven. I know she is wrong. _

_To the other side of me stand Jordan and Jack. "I'm taking Jack and leaving." she says to me. I plead with her to stay. We start to argue about Jack. _

_My father walks up out of nowhere and smacks Jordan across the face. "Don't!" I yell out. _

_Jack starts to cry in Jordan's arms and my father forcibly grabs him. He starts shaking my son yelling, "You worthless piece of shit, stop crying! No one loves you! You'll never see your daddy again!" Jack cries harder, calling out to Jordan. Jack won't look at me. _

"_Stop!" I yell. _

_Father looks to me and drops Jack. "You'll never amount to anything. You know she killed herself because of you." _

_I look back to the open coffin and see Jordan lying inside. "No!" I scream. I look back to my father and he has Paige by the throat. "Stop! Don't hurt her." _

"_Trying to stick up for the little Cunt?" _

"_I hate you." I tell him. _

_He shoves Paige away and takes a few steps towards me. He lunges at me and I swing a punch at him. He trips me and pins my arms to the ground. I struggle to break free. "Please," I beg, "leave me alone." _

"Perry!"

I suddenly find myself in the on-call room covered in sweat. Newbie is leaning over me, holding down my wrists, looking terrified. I can't stop panting.

"Get out." I tell him, horrified by my behavior he had to witness.

He stares at me dumbly, "What?"

"Get out!" I yell. I'm beginning to wonder what sort of excuse I can cook up for this whole ordeal.

Newbie ran out of the room, looking just as shook up as I am.

I leaped up and slammed the door, locking everyone else on the outside. As I shut the door I got a glimpse of Pricilla stumbling into a supply closet. With my back against the door, I slide down and rest my head in my hands. I go over the dream and the short event following and start banging my head against the door repeatedly. I was still disturbed by the dream and my rude awakening. I carelessly checked my watch. Two hours until my shift would end. All I had to do is make it through two more hours of work and I could go home. How could I explain the ordeal to Newbie?

I silently and discretely slipped out of the on call room and made my way to the nearest bathroom. Looking into the mirror I see that the dark bags under my eyes have not lightened in the least. My eyes were bloodshot and crusty. The two day stubble on my cheeks and chin added to the "loosing it" look. I splashed my face and neck with water, fully waking me up.

I sighed to myself, "Just two more hours."

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After two incredibly long hours of demanding work and awkwardness between Newbie and me, I finally allow myself into my apartment. It's a mess from my lack of care and a particularly destructive fight I had with Jordan before she left. I haven't had the will to clean up yet.

I am starving but don't want to eat. I wrap myself up in a fleece, plaid blanket and sit on the couch with a strong drink and watch home videos of Jack and Jordan: one of the few sentimental things that weren't destroyed in the fight.

Half a bottle of scotch later I had just finished watching Jack's second birthday with confused nostalgia. I then dug around in a pile of video cassettes and picked one at random. I blindly put it in the VHS player. Suddenly I see myself, happier then I've ever seen myself before. It's my wedding reception. I see myself kiss Jordan, who looks stunning. In the midst of the excitement Ben runs up takes a spontaneous picture. The tape plays on and I am reminded of happier times when Jordan loved me and Ben was alive. I lie down on my couch, cover my head with the blanket and will myself not to cry.

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_JD's POV_

_How am I going to get through the rest of today? Maybe it wasn't a big deal for Dr. Cox. _

I push myself to my feet and look around for a tissue or something I can use to wipe my nose and eyes. I don't know why I'm crying. What happened in the on call room wasn't _that_ traumatizing.

Once I gather myself I emerge into the chaotic world that is Sacred Heart. I get off in six hours. Just six more hours of this place and I can properly think this over.

I ran into Dr. Cox twice within the next two hours. He acted like he always does around me, except there was awkward tension and unspoken questions. The second time we were walking down the hallway together, not saying anything. Ted, who was standing next to a wall with a cup of coffee, commented as we passed, "Are you two fighting?"

Dr. Cox stared straight ahead and kept walking, determined to ignore the question. I, however, stopped and reprimanded him.

"Why would you ask, Ted?" I say in my peeved voice.

Ted looked baffled and bewildered, "I don't know. He always is yelling at you when you're doing well, but when you make him mad he blows up and then silently fumes, right?"

I make angry, flamboyant arm gestures, "I don't know what you're talking about." I then made a point to sharply turn away speedily walk away.

'_I didn't think Perry and I were fighting? I know what happened in the on-call room was uncomfortable and it freaked me out, but I didn't know we were fighting. I should do something apologetic to make up for what happened.'_

A light bulb went off in my head and I knew just what I could do.

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It was nine o'clock as I stood outside the door to Dr. Cox's apartment. I knocked on the door. I tried to look through the peep hole, but couldn't really distinguish anything. I knocked again persistently.

"What do you want?" Perry yelled from the inside.

I stood, confused. For a moment I didn't know what to do. He certainly can't be _that _angry at me. I called out; "Dr. Cox?" like I didn't know it was him in there.

I didn't get a response. I decided to test the door handle. It was unlocked so I pushed it open just enough to get a look inside, at the same time knocking. "Dr. Cox, I just wanted to…"

What I saw surprised me. The place smelled of strong alcohol. There was broken glass in the kitchen along with other cooking utensils. A handful of pictures lay scattered in disarray and looked like someone took a go at cutting them up, as indicated by the open scissors lying amidst the pile. Dirt was seeping into the carpet next to a broken vase where a plant was once potted. By this point I opened the door completely and stepped inside the apartment. The television played what looked like some old home video. In that same room video cassettes and DVDs were strewn throughout the area. They looked as if someone pulled them all off of a shelf and didn't care where they landed. I then looked around to find Dr. Cox.

I saw a body shaped lump on the couch wrapped up in a blanket. I prayed that that lump was not Dr. Cox. I tentatively called his name again. The lump just curled up tighter. I looked around, not knowing what to do. I then decided to reach down and take a hold of the blanket, "Perry?" I asked as I nervously pulled the blanket away from his head.

He lied there curled up with his legs tucked into his chest with dark bags under his bloodshot eyes, looking defeated and uninspired. I chose my next words wisely. "What's up?"

I could have smacked myself in the face. '"_What's up?" Am I serious?'_

When he didn't respond with some snappy remark I realized that this wasn't any average, everyday problem. This was for serious. I sat down at the foot of his couch and awaited whatever came next.

_To be continued..._

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Please, please, please review. I just love reviews, but please don't be mean.


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